Dark Lordship For Dummies
by st.anger
Summary: Ever wonder where all dark lords gets their plans from, of course, the book was a myth, it's very real now... What will become of the world's, when the power of the book is released? - genre: Parody


The chapter is still getting updated, i will remove this line when it's safe to read the chapter, without worrying about someone updating it, so you have to re-read it, read at your own risk, for now.

**This is my very first parody fic, if you notice any grammar errors, you should know im a dyslectic, so pleas notice me, and pleas don't flame.**

**Style/Genre: Will be a Romance/Parody/General fic.**

**Pairings: Harry/Cho/Pansy (all in a relationship, with feelings for each other).  
**

**Summary: Lord Voldermort reads dark lordship for dummies, and tries to learn something to use for his evil plot.**

**X-over:**

**Harry Potter**

**Narnia 1 and 2 (based on the movie versions) (will be in a few chapters)**

**Lord Of The Rings (in a few chapters)  
**

**Eragon (will be highly amusing) (in a few chapters)  
**

**Star Wars ep 1-6 (hard to guess who the dark lord will be) (in a few chapters)  
**

**Stargate sg-1 (the system lords will work as dark lords in this story) (in a few chapters)**

**Stargate Atlantis (the wraith lordesess aka the queen's)**

* * *

**Dark Lordship For Dummies, chapter 1: The book.**

Tom Riddle, also known as Lord Voldermort were actually reading a book, which would help him in being a good, and respected dark lord, Dark Lordship For Dummies, by: Salazar Slytherin.

Introduction: Being a good dark lord is never easy, there is always alot of work, and loads of servants to gain, this book will be your guide to become a good and respectable dark lord.

Chapter 1: Basic needs of a dark lord.

1. A dark lord will need alot of followers, who will be able to slay your enemies, for fun.

2. You will aswell need an evil plot, example, kidnap your foe, or one of their friends, or just kill them one by one.

3. You will need alot of books, so you can learn dark spells to use, for your attacks.

4. Entertainment is always a requirement, remember that.

5. A mark, every dark lord needs a mark to make people fear them.

6. An inner circle, every dark lord needs one, it could consist of your most loyal followers, or just some random people.

7. Healthy training, a dark lord will need to have good reflexes, agility, and more.

8. A base, or hideout, every dark lord needs somewhere to call his home, a base of his own.

9. An empire, every dark lord needs their kingdom, can be made from scratch, or conquested.

10. An evil laugh, it's highly amusing to scare your enemies with your very own evil laugh.

Continues on chapter 2: Things to remember as a dark lord.

The dark lord concentrated on said text, and sighed, this would take time to learn, he would need to summon...

"Wormtail!" The dark lord hissed.

"M-master?" Said person replied.

"I want to show you my evil laugh, i have just made it up"

"I-it i-is a-an h-honor, M-my L-lord"

"Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah!" The dark lord laughed evilly.

It made Wormtail tremble in fear, and he ran out from the room, screaming in horror.

"Now, that was amusing" He muttered to himself, and got back to read the book, so he finally would be able to beat that damn boy, who dared to beat him at the age of one, revenge is always important in dark-lordship.

"Nagini!" the dark lord hissed.

"Masssterrr" The large poisonous snake replied.

"It's time for dinner, i belive you have a rat to eat"

The snake hissed it's thanks, and set after wormtail, who tried to escape trough his rat form, which didn't work out well, as the snake bit him in his leg, which injected enough poison to stun him, as it ate the rat, not caring about it's screaming, as it woke up.

"Now, let's gather our group" The dark lord muttered to himself, in a very schizofrenic manner.

He used the dark mark to summon the death eaters, his army, for another meeting, once everyone arrived, they started reporting.

"Severus!"

"My lord?" Said person replied.

"You need to befriend the Potter-boy, and slay him in his sleep, NOW!"

"Yes, master"

"We will attack Devon today, all who stands in our way will be killed" The dark lord hissed, with an evil glint in his eyes.

The attack went uninterrupted, other than a few aurors, and order people, who went down quickly.

Lord Voldermort was just killing the last family alive in the town, when someone apparated in between himself and the girl who he was torturing, and he found it highly amusing.

"You better stop that, Tom" said person told him.

"Ah, spoilsport" Voldermort replied, sadly.

"You always have to ruin my fun, Dumbledore" Voldermort said.

"I have better things to do than this, Tom" Dumbledore replied, and disapparated.

"Now, back to business" The dark lord said, and ak'ed the ass out of the last girl in the town.

* * *

Harry woke up from another vision, unfortunately, during the years, he had started to recive visions, during his sleep, he knew the dark lord was up to something now, and he was going to find out.

Harry was on his way to the library, when he accidentaly bumped in to someone, who fell flat down to the floor, and unfortunately landed above him, their lips only a few centimetres apart.

"Ow, i-im s-so s-sorry" He managed to say, when he saw who it was, his secret crush, pansy parkinson, who actually were a slytherin, but she had grown to a very beautiful woman, during the last year, at least, so thought all boys in the school, in their age.

"Potter, watch where you are going" She spat out, when she saw who it was.

"Im sorry, i mean it, really, i need to talk to you, in private, Pansy" He said, slightly embarrased, over his last thoughts.

"Allright" She replied, to his confusion, with a smile, was Pansy bloody Parkinson just being polite to a gryffindor, and noone other than the gryffindor golden boy?

They walked in to an empty classroom, and set a locking and silencing charm on the door.

"What do you want, Potter?" Pansy said, once they sat down on chairs, opposite side to each other.

"I want to say im sorry, for being an ass, and i want to tell you i fancy you" Harry stammered out nervously, as he blushed bright pink (just like he used to do when he talked to Cho).

Pansy didn't know what to say, her greatest wish had just came true, she blushed bright pink.

Before either noticed it, they both stood up, leaned forward, and their lips met in a kiss, it wasn't like the one he had with cho, last year, this one was shy, at first, and then sweet, and quite deep.


End file.
